Tuesday, January 31

Top 5 Chuck Norris Facts...

Stolen from : Here

1)Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.

2)Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

3)There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

4)Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

5)If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

Other Random Chuck Norris facts:

-The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

-Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.

-If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

-The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

-Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Top Five Reasons You Should Buy an XBox 360

1. Call of Duty 2 - single player - wow, I just beat this (on normal) with my friend Ian in one day 81/2 hours worth. crazy fun. So much detail. So challenging. So expansive. Its beautiful.
2. They are making a Halo 3 for it. I am saying this will be the game of ever.
3. Really cool wireless controls.
4. High Definition capabilities.
5. It is the only one of the big 3 systems to come out yet. I will buy the Nintendo one maybe, cause i like Zelda. I may also want to get whoever has the rights to "24" games on the next generation systems. But yeah... its the only one out.

I am kinda a video game geek sometimes.

Top Five New allegiances I Have Made in the New Year

1. SEIU - basically I have just become a union steward
2. Halton Youth Network - basically I am on the committee to help implement a youth network in Halton.
3. The Rebel alliance - basically I am just a cadet right now, but hopefully I will move into a position to be able to fly missions and such in the future
4. Apple - basically I bought a Mac, and I am already buying Mac magazines and reading Mac manuals. I am completely sucked in.
5. Friends of Algonquin - basically I paid a 12 dollar few to get a newsletter and a discount. But I am officially in, got a sweet card too.

Monday, January 30

Top 5 Examples of Irony (For Andwer Vlackvood)

1. A black fly in your chardonnay
2. Rain on your wedding day
3. A free ride when you've already paid
4. 10 000 spoons, when all you need is a (Cutco) knife
5. A no smoking sign on your cigarette break

Top Five Moments Of Last Nights Concert

5. The Bassist from Shukov liked my shirt. i liked her playing.
4. I finally saw some action. However, i wasnt involved.
2. Ash gave me the finger.
1. Henock found Jesus.

Sunday, January 29

Top 5 Reasons the Previous List is Illegitimate

1. "Rivers" is not the stopfive critic. I am the critic, and Andrew is the professor Emeritus of blogging. If he ever returns from his harrowing journey alive, and bearing the 5 seeing stones.
2. 1989, no matter how much he may wish, is not part of the 90's. The poor man is deluding himself.
3. "Favoritie" is not a word.
4. The list is plagiarized. He stole it from his own top 5 favourite albums list.
5. Eat it Kang.

Saturday, January 28

A Stopfive Critic's Revision: Dan's *Real* Top 5 Favoritie Albums of the 90's

1. Roch Voisine - Helene - 1989 ('89 started the 90's in my book)
2. Roch Voisine - Double - 1990
3. Roch Voisine - I'll Always Be There - 1993
4. Roch Voisine - Coup de tete - 1994
5. Roch Voisine - Kissing Rain - 1996

Friday, January 27

A Stopfive Critic's Revision: Otto's *Real* Top 5 Favourite Albums of the 90's

1. Amanda Marshall - Self Titled Album
2. Michael Bolton - Timeless (The Classics)
3. Carman - R.I.O.T. (Righteous Invasion of Truth)
4. Celine Dion - The French Album
5. Boyz II Men - II

Top 5 Favourite Albums From the 90's

1. Presidents of the United States of America - Self titled album.
2. Oasis - Whats the Story Morning Glory.
3. Nirvana - Nevermind
4. Green Day - Dookie
5. Our Lady Peace - Clumsy

Top 5 Reasons I want my Work Computer to be a Mac

1. Dual processors for incredibly great speed.
2. Photostory for windows is the worst pile of crap ever. It won't even crop my photos right. I'm sure Macs have a better program for that.
3. System integration. So much better system integration.
4. ITunes was born to live in a Mac. All of us PC users are pretty much fooling ourselves.
5. They look so much cooler. In my job, that's a major plus.

Top 5 Most Played Songs on My iTunes

1. The Freshman - The Verve Pipe (157 times)
2. What Sarah Said - Death Cab For Cutie (151 times)
3. Give a Little Bit - Supertramp (148 times)
4. Falling - Ben Kweller (125 times)
5. Mr. Brightside - The Killers (112 times)

Thursday, January 26

Top 5 Reasons Toni Daytona is Rotten:

1. She knows Brad has a thing for her, yet she keeps leading the poor guy on. Come on already, quit messing with the lads head.
2. She used Brads infatuation with her to make Dirk jealous. Not only did Dirk get screwed around, but Brad also got punched in the jaw.
3. She used Dirks unhealthy love of her to help her station win the toy drive. The guy was trying to turn his life around, but little miss head games strikes again.
4. She has no moral conscience. She keeps screwing with mens heads and showing no remorse. In fact, it sems like she kind of enjoys it.
5. She does stupid things like kiss Brad on the cheek, then proclaims that they have a great friendship. Damn it, don't do that to a man. You can't get a man started down the road of infatuation on purpose and then play the friend card. That just aint right.

Top Five Appliances I Couldnt Live Without.

5. A fridge to hold food. "The Big Chill Retro 50's Style Fridge is only $2649"
4. Stove to make my food. "The Northstar retro 50's Style Stove is only $4095"
3. Dishwasher to clean the plates i ate my food off of. "The SYBYS Dishwasher that is Almound Colour in only $400 it looks retro!?"
2. Washer and Dryer just incase i spill my food. "The Maytag 50 lb Washer and 50 lb Dryer is only $6000... Thats industrial size!"
1. Microwave for when i dont want to cook my food. "The Sharp High Speed R-90GC Microwave is only $999 and has a fun name.

- www.ebay.com might be a little addictive but you can get cool stuff.
if your a male... get a girl she likely can do all the things these appliances can do. and she might be cheaper in the long run.

Wednesday, January 25

Top 5 Dave Matthews Band Songs (An avoiding work list)

1. Busted Stuff - such a smooth groove. I love it.
2. Warehouse - arguably the best Dave song of all time. So intense, and yet, so happy.
3. Lie in our Graves - The definition of a jam band song. Listen to the "Live in Chicago" version. It's like 10 minutes long, and Victor Wooten and Tim Reynolds have these crazy long solos.
4. Bartender - I find its pseudo-spirituality inspiring. And it's so pretty.
5. Dream Girl - I just love that intro so much.

Top 5 Highlights of my Trip to Portland

1. I saw the sun. And trust me, it is still beautiful.
2. Learning and singing some of the great hymns of the faith, such as "Years I spent in vanity and pride . . ."
3. Receiving dating tips from Dr. Richards.
4. Food.
5. Driving in Seattle and not getting lost.

Top5 StopFive Unsolved Mysteries

5. Why does everyone keep calling their friends creepy? Sometimes it's fun to act creepy, but only because we are so obviously the farthest thing from it. I don't think any of you are creepy. Do you agree? I need answers.
4. MattyRob. Who in the frackin' verse is MattyRob? Someone please tell me. Please.
3. Are Jenn's top car names intrinsically valuable or do they symbolize the uniqueness of the cultural icons they represent? I'll try to guess: Stella DuBois Kowalski, Marvin the Martian, Spock son of Sarek, Bea Arthur (golden), and Mike Waszowski? But maybe they're just good names. What do I know? (rhetorical)
2. Is tuna/ketchup KD better than bacon/butter KD? I've heard a lot of talk, but seen no actual effort go into convincing the general readership one way or the other. However I'm willing to host and judge a StopFive cook-off to settle the matter once and for all. If Dan and Jenn are really convinced of their recipes' superiority or just want to further the cause of science, they can let me know. Also I'm hungry.
1. Is there life outside the planet earth? If so, what would be the top 5 forms of it?

Tuesday, January 24

Top 5 names for your first car...

*It's my first Post!!* - trust me, they will get better...

1) Stella
2) Marvin
3) Spock
4) Bea Arthur
5) Mike

Monday, January 23

Top Five Strange Things I Do

1. Find ways to get potato (and other things) in my hair without knowing it, or knowing how.
2. Fall Down. Often. Sometimes for apparently no reason at all.
3. Go to the internet.
4. Quote Arrested Development to people who don't watch the show. That mainly makes people think you are crazy, by the way.
5. Talk aloud to myself, even in public.

Piratey post: "Look at banner Michael!"

Top 5 I Hate Monday

1. Friggin people are friggin stupid.
2. Stupid people ask what is wrong. I would be okay with this, but people don't really care. They just ask because they think it is the right thing to do. Stupid people.
3. Stupid people have stupid opinions.
4. Stupid people should be punched in there collective stupid faces
5. Stupid Othello.

Piratey post: Everybody loves Mondays!

Top 5 Reasons Stopfiverecords is a poor Forum for Flirting

1. The flirter is limited by the form of a top 5 list.
2. It is exceedingly difficult to convey subtlety/nuance over the internet.
3. The flirtee tends to be uncomfortable with so much attention in such a public forum.
4. New readers have difficulty understading the nature of this site.
5. Internet flirting cannot be considered "progress".

Piratey post: Limitations force creativity, which leads to flirting.

Sunday, January 22

Top 5 Odd People As Recently Discovered on the Internet

1. Harrie Weggelaar – “Atoms are made of Spaceships”

2. Tom Strasthle – “Chief Designer for Homeland Security”

3. Anonymous Time Traveler from California – “Partner wanted”

4. Eddy Daams – “Fun Burials”

5. Crazy eBay Mom – “Take a Tour of our eBay House”

Top Five Reasons I'd Let Sarah Take Me In A Cage Match

1 through 5. she'd be laying her hands on me. YES.

Saturday, January 21

Top 5 Karaoke Songs of All Time

1. "Sweet Caroline" - Neil Diamond.
2. "Forever in Blue Jeans" - Neil Diamond.
3. "Girl, You'll be a Woman Soon" - Neil Diamond
4. "Cherry Cherry" - Neil Diamond
5. "Solitary Man" - Neil Diamond

Piratey post: Everybody loves Neal Diamond

Top 5 Reasons I Shouldn't Gamble

1. I lose Money
2. I lose Self Respect
3. I lose the shirt off my back
4. No girls want a loser (though I think we all fantasize about the thought of a girl holding us while we are wallowing, or feeling sad)
5. I lose time

hehe, though I did have a good day of fun

Piratey post: I don't get to watch cool live music instead. Friggin stupid.

Friday, January 20

Top 5 Movies I watch when I'm Sick

1. Almost Famous. This movie is pretty much my favourite movie of all time. And Kate Hudson is comforting. And beautiful.
2. Star Wars 4-6. These movies require little thought, and are chalk full of adventure, fun, wookies, and the occasional golden bikini. Plus, when you're sick, you can identify with whiny characters like Luke Skywalker.
3. Garden State. Comforting, and it has a great soundtrack. Coming of age films are good when you're sick.
4. Braveheart. It's long and inspiring. And some book told me it would make me feel like more of a man.
5. The Royal Tennenbaums. Also a great soundtrack, and funny. But funny in that quirky grin kind of way, rather than that laugh out loud and start a coughing fit kind of way.

Notable Exceptions: The Saint and Family Man.

Top Five strange things I do...

1. My level of happiness/contentness in life is measurable by the amount of random dancing I do.
2. I people watch. Sometimes this can be problematic especially when people are eating and they think you are a creeper.... but i cant help it, people are interesting.
3. I get really into sappy pre-teen type shows... leading me to go to see Hilary Duff in concert with a good pre-teen friend.
4. I humm little off tune songs that are half real and half made up.
5. I run like a maniac down my wing hall and stike a pose whenever a door is open or someone walking down the hall sees me.

Thursday, January 19

Top5 Strange Things I do

5. Turn my room into a furnace with this little space heater. I like warming up and being cozy, but like the frog in the pot, continually fail to notice when it crosses the threshhold to sweltering.
4. Wash my face all the time. It always feels dirty and oily, even after I wash it. Perhaps one day I will be able to carry spare faces with me at all times and just switch faces when one feels dirty. The faces I'm not wearing will be in disinfectant.
3. Not eat meals. My roommate shares this strange non-habit. I do eat nutritional foodstuffs, sometimes as often as once a day, but whatever else I consume is purely recreational. I don't get people who eat regular meals. They frighten me.
2. Sleep on a pillow full of dried barley husks. It centers me.
1. Hunch my right shoulder more than my left one. They both hunch, but my right shoulder is reprobate, and it hates me. Call me 'hunchy'.

I could go on and on, but I think I've made my point: I do strange things.

Top Five Reasons I Can Slay Rob In A Death Match

5. I can deliver a mean kick to the crotch
4. Rob wears glasses
3. I have no shame in scratching, kicking, pulling hair, eye gouging, running away, punching people unexpected, screaming, sacking, and hitting on Dan's mom.
2. I own a lightsabre
1. I'll be fighting for Sarah's love

Top Five Strange Things I Do

1. push 24. It is weird, and is obvious on this websight, but its true. I have inflicted hundreds with this passion and I am not even exagerating. But I love it, and I am generous with my DVDs so it is a happy union.
2. kiss
3. Play Fantasy Football. This is a massive obsession with me. I cant really explain why I love it so much, but I do. It is my hobby.
4. Hope. I am constanly in this delemna of seeing more than is given, of wanting more than I have. Its like this constant reminder that life is always changing for me. Kinda puts alot of pressure on any relationships I have. But yeah, I do it
5. Advice homeless youth. It really is this weird thing that I do. Completely demanding of humility, while having some sort of confidence in my thoughts and words that they could make a differnce.

and the game continues. All stop fivers must do a list, by the way.

Top 5 Surprising Elisha Cuthbert Appearances

1. 24 - I remember when I first started watching 24. I was at my friend Brad's and right away I recognized one of my childhood crushes from the Tv show popular mechanics for kids. I gotta say the crush hadn't really died, it was just dorment till then.
2. Perfect Situation Video - I actually didn't know that part of Weezer's history, but I am glad I watched Much Music today.
3. Love Actually - This is one of my favorite movies. It is a guilty pleasure of mine (beautiful and romantic movies). but yeah, she was super hot in it.
4. Old School - .... sorry...
5. Are You Afraid of the Dark - She actually made her first appearance in the early stages of the show, in 1996. but it was when she started attending the late night fires that I took notice.


Top 5 Signs Oprah Could Be the Anti-Christ

1. Oprah was originally named ‘Orpah’, after the Moabite woman in the Book of Ruth. Biblical roots – in a pinch (such as "The End of the World") it will secure allegiance of at least 77% of evangelical Christians (as recent theological studies have shown that really, less than 23% of Christians are 'elect').

2. She was born on January 29, 1954. Just another year? Not so. In 1954 the words “under God” were added to the United States Pledge of Allegiance; the first Sports Illustrated was published; the first Miss America Pageant was hosted; West Germany joined NATO; stop signs were changed from yellow and black, to red and white.

With so many exciting things happening, who would anticipate it as being the year of the birth of the Anti-Christ? Had I been alive at the time, I certainly would have been none the wiser.

3. The
Apostle Elisabeth Elijah Nikomia had a dream. God told her Oprah is part of Satan’s antichrist regime. You can’t argue with dreams from God.

4. Oprah walks into rooms and people fall prostrate before her. In fact, whenever she comes on TV, I fall prostrate. I actually hurt my hip the other day because of her.

5. Oprah is the most powerful celebrity in the world. A friend of a friend of a relative of a friend of mine told me she once sneezed in a restaurant and a man involved with the mob died instantly of a “heart attack”. Coincidence? I think not.

Top Five Things That Need to Find a Place in My Room

1. The super over powerful desklamp. It has been roving all over the floor, for months. It was on my bedside table but fell off, and has since been replaced by alot of things.
2. My Street Walk Sign. I found it in Vancouver in an ally, thinking that it would be a rad contribution to any cool guy's room. It has yet to contribute to anything but sitting behind my closet door.
3. Clothing. I have too many of these. I just don't have enough room. I am about to inherit more.
4. My Video Camera. I think that it needs to be in a very accessable, but poinent position. Maybe a full time tripod in the corner would be cool. I really don't know. It is on my bedside table, where my lamp used to be.
5. The organizational pixies.

I am off to the orthadonist, at 23. what a sucker I am.

Wednesday, January 18

Top 5 Songs that Intrigue Me

1. "Wheat Kings" - The Tragically Hip. I've only heard this song twice. It is beautiful. I don't feel like I know a song until I've heard it at least 5 times. Thus, it intrigues me.
2. "Soul meets Body" - Death Cab for Cutie. I saw these guys perform it live on SNL. I now want to see them live. They're all hilariously beefy.
3. "Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars" - David Bowie. I mean, seriously, what's that all about?
4. "Screaming Infidelities" - Dashboard Confessional. I've just never heard such an epic drum part for such an acoustic song. Always gets my attention.
5. "Where are You?" - Our Lady Peace. Is it happy? Is it sad? You be the judge.

Tuesday, January 17

Top Five Things That Prove I Am Magical

1. I talked about the customer I think is cute, and 2 minutes later he came in.
2. I was annoyed at my manager, and a sleeve of sample cups fell from the overhead storage, narrowly missing her head.
3. A customer told me I have "the magic touch" for making her latte.
4. I enter rooms in a cloud of steam.
5. "Could it be Magic" by Barry Manilow....one of the very few songs with my name in it....coincidence???

Top 5 Reasons KD with Bacon is better than KD with Tuna and Ketchup

Because for some reason, I can't resist taunting someone I've never met.

1. Bacon, in all respects, is a superior meat to tuna.
2. Ketchup contains tomatoes. And although I like ketchup, tomatoes are a primary member of a dismal and little know food group called the "blueberry food group". This group has all the losers: blueberries, tomatoes, olives, and sometimes onions. In fact, I think tuna may very well be a member, although my research is far from complete.
3. I use a special type of KD (better than the original).
4. Butter and bacon is a beautiful combination. It's metaphorical in a sense. The union of bacon and butter can be likened to the beautiful union of a man and a woman in holy matrimony.
5. Tuna, in all respects, is an inferior meat to bacon.

Top 5 personal Favourite Bass Songs

1. Classical Thump by Victor Wooten
2. Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes (idiot simple, but still has a solid groove)
3. My Generation by The Who
4. Salvation is here by Hillsong United (the only christian song to make this list, because it is such a great Bass driven song and so fun to play)
5. Flowers from In Medias Res. Not really any particular song, I just really like his groove and his intensity (some may call it flailing) during there live shows.

Top 5 Strange Things I Do

Since Kyle tagged Stop Five Records in general, I thought I would add my list. This is my best 5, selected from a veritable buffet of choices.

1. I talk to the radio. Not just the DJ's, but the musicians too. I tell them how much I like/hate their songs, what they could have done better, etc. I also have a habit of trying to imitate James Blunt's voice everytime "You're Beautiful" comes on the radio.
2. I can only sleep in one position, ever. On stomach, one hand curled up to my face holding blankets, other arm stretched flat towards my leg. I then notch the heel of my front foot in between the big toe and second toe of my back foot.
3. I go to the mall. Not really to buy anything. Just to wander and watch people.
4. I airdrum while I drive. This one freaks people ot sometimes.
5. I refuse to drink milk with pizza. It just disgusts me.

Top Five Elizabethan Insults?

5. Thou Spongy Have-Faced Hedge-Pig
4. Thou Bootless Clay-Brained Bum-Bailey
3. Thou Saucey Rump-Fed Pignut
2. Thou Weedy Milk-Livered Pigeon Egg
1. DAN's MOM... BURN!

Hey Make Your Own, Say It To Your Friends/Mom.

Monday, January 16

Top 5 strange things I do:

1. Never really go to a theatre by myself (seriously, up until a few months ago i had never been to a movie by myself)
2. Tie up my shoe laces once, on the day I buy new shoes.
3. Like Nickelback
4. Get distracted by things when I'm playing Bass on stage (ussualy something shiny or a kitty) and forget where I am in a song.
5. Talk to the Orange Julius cups at work and call them names (ussualy "whoreface")

Top 5 Reasons I Think Dan Could Take me in a Figth

1. You Have Intense Physical Prowess. You are quick and crafty. You are fast and agile. You are strong and getting stronger daily. You are tough: I don't know if you can get hurt, seriously have you ever been injured?
2. You Are Determined. You strive after everything you truely want and Dan I really respect that. Specifically, you strive after what you truely (eternally) want, not just anything. you know... Its very cool man.
3. You Are Goodlooking. Rule number 43: Goodlooking people are great fighters.
4. You Are a Great Friend. Only a great friend could really understand the emotional pressure points needed to defeat me. Seriously, the Judas angle.
5. You Would be Fighting for the Honor of Your Family. What more noble cause is there. To quote Tupac "You know what gang violence is, mostly... and the people don't want you to hear this: somebody shoots your family member, so ofcourse you retaliate."yeah, I get you man.

... you would win.

Top 5 Inside Tips That Paul Martin and Steve Harper Don't Want The Voters To Know

1. Both of these individuals actually never even graduated from high school. Steve Harper was actually raised by a group of wild Silverback Gorillas in the Amazon. He got into politics when his mother Coco was was imprisoned in a Canadian Toronto Zoo. His financial funding for his campagin has actually come for a "right-winged" animal rights organization in America.
2. There was actually never a concern in the house of commons about the Liberal Governments running of Canada. The truth is during a late night poker game Martin had one two many shirly temples and bet the rest of his term on a two pair. Steven Harper unfortunetly was holding pocket aces!
3. Neither individual actually knows what is going on !
4. There is no debt, and there never has been, the abundent about of money that has been taken from Canadian Citizens has actually been used to pay for a super secret one man robotic killing machine. Up to this date this information has never been released. This robot is known as Jack Bauer.
5. Finally you may want to sit down for this final inside tip. It is extremly shocking and somewhat dissipointing. Brace yourself. They really don't care what they have to say aslong as they get the votes.

Top Five Reasons You Should Not Stay Up For 32hrs Straight.
1. Staying up for so many hours can actually have a serious effect on your short term memory. Scientific studies have shown in the past that on average, an individual can staying up for so many hours can actually have a serious effect on you short term memory.
2. There is absouloutly nothing to watch at 4am, on a side not did anyone else know that Puff Daddy used proactive for his acne problem.
3. You become more suseptable to informercials and end up with a drawer full of useless shit like the magic bullet.
4. By hour thirty you begin to look like a racoon and your mood also becomes very rabid very quickly.
5. You start to think that posting a top five about why its not a good idea that you are still up is a good idea and then have to sit for another hour trying to think of what to put because you are so damn tired...zzzzzzz

Top Five Most Intriquetely Orchestrated Plans Recorded on Film

1. Kevin Holds Fort *HOME ALONE* - Our little Hero has like a day to prepare after finding out his house is gonna be the victim of robbery. Break out the Crayon blue prints, and write in havoc. Hell raising havoc. Planned with enough time to still attend a Christmas Eve service and inspire the crazy old man down the street to take a chance on his family, and forgive himself.
2. Amelie Returns Talking Photographs *Amelie* - How to: first: be in Paris, then call the boy at work, tell him to meet you in a park and bring a franc. Draw blue arrows on the ground leading from a phone both to a pedestal and a telescopic pay viewer. Hire a man to paint himself the color of stone, and stand pointing at the telephone booth (a kiss on the cheek should cover it for you cute girls). Hire a little Child to tell the above mentioned boy "When the finger points to heaven, the idiot looks at the finger," when he stands in front of the statue. (5 gi joes should cover this) Call the phone booth nearest him from another phone booth nearby. Watch the plan unfold, and when he uses the franc to look back at the phone booth, return the talking pictures.
3. Revenge of the Gypsies *Snatch* - haha... get real mad, talk like a crazy guy, bust someones face with one punch and then kill everyone. Don't forget to look super rad all the time.
4. Steal From Your Ex-Wife's Boyfriend *Ocean's Eleven* - Daniel Ocean basically got a bunch of cool guys together (basically Brad and whoever, that's a group of cool guys) who wanted alot of money. Than they elaborately staged a theft of a huge casino, but wait they make the jerk think its his other casino. All the while Danny never took his eye from the prize, Julia freakn' Roberts. Well done, well done.
5. The Swinging on a Star Theft *Hudson Hawk* - A classic moment for me. I remember when I first saw this. I just love idea of using songs instead of stopwatches. Super funny, super efficiant. It doesn't even matter if it worked. This is ultimately the most "Orchestrated" plan. hehehehehe

Top Five Things I Wish I Could Do Tonight

1. Watch "Arrested Development" (will not curse Fox TV for fear of the wrath of the 24 watchers)
2. Watch "Arrested Development" on dvd (alas, lent to friends, in abbotsford, out of my reach)
3. Fly (this is not just tonight, i often wish i could fly)
4. Watch "The Last Unicorn" (have been wanting to do this for a week or so)
5. =with a bullet= Kiss a Boy (this would make me forget about everything else i wish i could do...)

Top Five Preferred Fonts (inspired by Reine)

1. Garamond
2. Times New Roman (a classic)
3. Georgia
4. Courier (looks like a typewriter)
5. Batang (for the name)

Top 5 Reasons I could Destroy Bryan in a Deathmatch

1. My quick wit, which has only gotten sharper since our last meeting. Prepare yourself for a prelimanary verbal tirade Bryan.
2. My speed, which was very clearly demonstrated at the bachelor party.
3. Although my hair has been cut, my strength is far from diminished.
4. Bryan is overconfident.
5. I am a tool. Contrary to popular belief, I can be a self mechanized tool. Rule 72: Never turn your back on a tool.

Consider this a formal challenge Bryan. My mother's honour is at stake.

Top 5 Reasons to Watch TV with Dan's Parents

1. Dan's Mom is super cute when she doesn't get to watch the show she wants to, she kinda pouts and sits in the corner of the coach with her knees pulled up to her chest.
2. Dan's Mom gets really into the shows she's watching, and actively believes she is in the show. which is crazy, unless you are goodlooking, inwhich case you can get away with anything. She can get away with anything
3. Dan's Mom makes you cookies. All the time with the cookies.
4. Dan's mom has this little twinkle in her eye and glow to her cheek when she is watching a love story, and it hits her just the right way. Its magic.
5. Dan's Dad hates t.v. and hey that means alone time with Dan's Mom.

Top 5 24

Man....!!! I love this show!

Top 5 Shirts I Have Worn This Week

1. My trucker stylin thick flannel green and white sleaves cut off so my shoulders look huge shirt.TODAY
2. My completely bright and glow in the dark radiation like florescent green/yellow "bryan, your sweater's blinding me" eight dollar hoody. YESTERDAY
3. My long sleave Salvation Army Lighthouse Homeless Shelter Black T-shirt. YESTERDAY, TODAY.
4. My sweet awesome Royal blue extra small almost shimmalish original logo Toronto Blue Jays T-shirt. THE DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY.
5. My favorite forest green fits just right and makes me feel rad USMC Weopons battalion Divison T-Shirt. 2 DAYS AGO.

what was your favorite shirt this week? Stay tuned for my favorite pants and possibly hats of the week.

Top 5 Celebrity Boxing Matches I would Like 2 See

1. Paris Hilton Vs. Nicole Ritchie - Find out what happens with The Simple Life get's complicated as these two celeb socialites stop the love and pick up the gloves.
2. Bruce Willis Vs. Ashton Kutchur - See Demi Moore as the ring girl in this non-stop action packed comedy of Ashton getting his but handed to him!!
3. Martha Stewart Vs. Winona Ryder - Watch Winona bring out the Sticky Fingers while Martha hits her from behind with an Insiders Tip that knocks her off her block!
4. Angelina Jolie Vs. Jennifer Anniston Star In volume one of "How BAD Do You Want Brad". And no folks she was not hurt in training those are her "real" Lips!
5. Keifer Sutherland Vs. Ray Romano - Watch Keifer kick Ray Romano's but in the new special "Everybody Hates Raymond". In this show Keifer takes what is rightfully his the award for best actor. Siskel and Ebert call the show "Justice at last"

Top 5 Women of 24

Since my last 24 Blog was a big hit I have decided to do another 24 top five, hold on to your pants cause here we go...

1. Kim Bauer... Although at times she can be severly naive, and gets herself into stupid trouble constantly she is quite the hottie and she can also take care of business. I gotta be honest though I think she should send Dad after whoever massacred her hair in Season 3... Yikes..
2. Nina Myers... The women we all love to hate.. Come on people though honestly.. If you were in a room with Mrs Bauer you would have probably done the same thing... Nina is the only one thus far that has been able to fool Jack and I believe that is due to her incredible hotness, and being a complete sociopath.
3. Mandy... Mandy... Well what can I say about Mandy... She is still alive so I will not say anything because she is hot and extremly freaking dangerous, I certinally don't want to offend her. What if she found me...... Wait ! What if she found me? Hmmmm... Mandy if you read this you can call me at 905-555-3245, this is a risk I am willing to take!
4. Marie Warner... Once she gets out of the ward I am sure she will be fine!! Bit of a fixer upper but come on we all have problems right...
5. Last but certinally not least, the women that took our breath away in season 4. The women with beautiful locks of golden white hair, and a breathing apparatus that just won't stop. Edgar's mom. What a freaken sweetheart.

Hope you enjoy... Agree Disagree Let me know !!! See ya everyone Word up B-Town "MY FREAKIN KNEES MAN"

Sunday, January 15

Top 5 Overlooked TV Theme Songs from the 80s

1. Star Trek: The Next Generation. Dum-de-de-dum-dum dummmm. This show was cool. Star Trek + awesome special effects + hot ship's counsellor = kick-ass space voyaging theme.
2. Cheers, that place where everybody knows your name. Maybe not the best show, but warm and comforting.
3. Good call on the Wonder Years. Joe Cocker...ahh.
4. The A-Team. When this show comes on I jump and shout, because these guys are awesome and the theme song is winning!
5. MacGyver. Man, this song is genius. Go download it and tell me you don't agree. And it's MacGyver.

Worst TV show theme of the 80s...
Knight Rider. Aweful for not getting out of your head.

Top Five Moments In Pirate Dubiens Life.

5. The Adventure. a teenaged misfit found himself floating on a raft down the Mississippi River with an escaping slave whose name was Jim. In the course of their perilous journey, Dubien and Jim meet adventure, danger, and a cast of characters who are sometimes menacing and often hilarious. this was the moment of his life when he realized, he was a pirate.
4. The Saviour. In the wake of his parents' murder disillusioned industrial heir Pirate Dubien travels the world seeking the means to fight injustice and turn fear against those who prey on the fearful. He returns to Gotham and unveils his alter-ego.
3. His First Love. When the popular, restless Pirate Dubien is forced to participate in the school drama production he falls in love with Jamie Sullivan, the daughter of the town's minister. Jamie has a "to-do" list for her life and also a very big secret she must keep from Landon. Dubien brings all of Jamies dreams to life. they married. tragically she died soon after from cancer.
2. His Son. recently-widowed Pirate Dubien's son calls a radio talk show in an attempt to find his father a partner. His father became sleepless in his home town of Seatle. BUT FOUND A WIFE YAY!
1. The Hero. after his secret marriage Dubien found himself in a jam when a english lord kills his wife. against all odds he fights the english army to gain revenge on his wifes death and give Scotland FREEEEEEDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOMMMM. he died. he was brave.

Saturday, January 14

Top 5 Reasons not to Watch TV with my Parents

1. The Knowledge Network
2. PBS
3. Shaw Cable 4 (Public Access)
4. The Women's Network
5. "Old Movie Time" on CBC

I think they have some kind of bad TV radar.
This is getting ridiculous.


1. Batman - Batman Batman Batman Batman, Batman Batman Batman, Batman Batman Batman DA NA NA NA NA NA, NA NA NA NA NA NA NA...Batman
2. The Wonder Years - What would you do if I sang out tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me? Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song I will try not to sing out of key, yeah
Oh, baby I get by with a little help from my friends By with a little help from my friends.
All I need is my buddies By with a little help from my friends I said I'm gonna get by with a little By with a little help from my friends Whoa oh oh oh oh Said I don't know if that's what I'm sure do to, baby By with a little help from my friends Said I'm gonna make it with my friends
By with a little help from my friends Whoa oh I'm gonna keep on trying By with a little help from my friends Said I'm gonna keep on trying ... (Written By The Beatles Performed By Joe Cocker)
3. Saved By The Bell - Well, I wake up in the morning, And the 'larm gives out a warning, And I don't think I'll ever make it on time. By the time I grab my books, And I give myself a look, I'm at the corner, just in time to see the bus fly by. It's all right, 'cos I'm Saved by the Bell. If the teacher pops a test, I know I'm in a mess, And my dog ate all my homework last night.Riding low in my chair, She won't know that I'm there, If I can hand it in tomorrow it'll be all right. It's all right, 'cos I'm Saved by the Bell.
4. Magnum P.I.
5. COPS - Bad boys, whatcha want, whatcha want,Whatcha gonna do when sherrif John Brown come for you.Tell me, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do? Yeahhh?Bad boys bad boys Watcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for you Bad boys, bad boys Watcha gonna do, watcha gonna do when they come for you. (Lyrics By Inner Circle)

Top 5 Television Series Seasons

1. Season 1 of 24
2. Season 2 of 24
3. Season 3 of 24
4. Season 4 of 24
5. Season 1 of ALF - Which in 7 months will be replaced by Season 5 of 24, where Kiefer (Jack Bauer) goes to planet Malmac and kicks ALF's furry behind in an explosive no holds bar intergallactic terrorist showdown.

Great to be back !! Thanks for the invite B-town !!

Top 5 Moments in Ben Kweller's life

1. The Catch: whether powered by revenge, or honor, or courage, Ben made history that day and that moment he caught a sword in his bare hand enduring the pain to finally win what was easily one of the Top 5 Sword Fights of all time (see previous archived entry).
2. All was presumed lost (EVEN HIS LIFE!!!!), but Ben rose from the rubble to gain vengeance over his attackers. One by one destroying each one. Ben selflessly took on the role of guinea pig for both a new skin grafting procedure (which he invented) and a new neuron displacement procedure. What a trooper, what a hero.
3. When he ate the Evil Queen's face, thus bringing to end her evil rule.
4. Ben's List: During Nazi rule, Ben used his position to save the lives of over 1100 Jews. The understatement of simply saving their life should be noted, as there lives were to end with extreme brutality and torture. It is for these moments that we can truely thank a great man.
5. The Choice: After the Jedi Council Denied the training of a young child. Ben took it upon himself to mentor him. This boy would eventually bring balance to the force, and I think we all like a good and balanced force. The force needs to be in equilibrium and the scales of forcitude need to be steadied.

Honorable Mentions: the fatherly act: the hookup: the conversion: and tuturing of one of the greatest single heroes known to man

Welcome to Stop Five Mr. Kweller

Top Five Things Every One Should Try This Year.

5. Go Speed Dating.
4. Hit On A Cougar While Speed Dating.
3. Take A Cougar Back To Your Place After Speed Dating. For Coffee
2. Take A Shower. Brush Your Teeth. Because You Just Took Home A Cougar For Coffee That You Met At Speed Dating.
1. Play Dance Dance Revolution. (Possibly With A Cougar That You Picked Up While Speed Dating.)

Honorable Thought. Another Thing That Females Should Partake In This New Year... Make A Pass On Ryan... Or Ben.

For Those Viewers Who Are Interested In Possibly Achieving These Goal For This Year Please Check Out http://www.vancouverspeeddating.ca But Remember "Anyone over 25 is invited to come to the events. Each event has an "age range" to ensure you meet people who are close to your own age. There are no religious or ethnic restrictions, but you must be single!" Enjoy.

State of the Union (iTunes): five most recently played tunes

1. Theologians, Wilco
2. I've Seen It All, Bjork (with Thom York)
3. KC Accidental, Broken Social Scene
4. Favourite Cities, Azure Ray
5. Owner of a Lonely Heart, Yes!

Currently on the air: Don't Stop Believin', Journey


Friday, January 13

Nature's Top 5 Kodak Moments

1. A shark eating a puppy
2. A bear hugging a shark
3. A gorilla eating a monkey
4. A sloth strangling a crocodile
5. An elk riding a moose

Top 5 Reasons to Play Soccer in the Rain

1. Girls are impressed when you do anything in the rain.
2. Girls are impressed by long wet hair.
3. Girls are impressed by muddy faces.
4. Girls are impressed by wet T-shirts (on men! Come on!!).
5. Girls are impressed by wet sweaty man smell.

Top Five Reasons To Go To London, England

1. Thom Yorke. that man is hot.
2. the museums and art gallery's have free admission. FREE. no cost to go in and see some of the greatest art there is. da Vinci, Titian, de Goya, Michaelangelo, Cezanne, Bottecelli....i kid you not. free.
3. the accents, ours and theirs....we sound cute to them, they sound cute to us...what could be better?
4. the possibility of finding a way into Narnia.
5. =with a bullet= "Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around."

Top 5 new-ish songs that could change the face of the planet

1. Photograph by Nickelback: Jock (crotch??) rock will one day own the planet. I'm jumping on the band wagon before Chad Kroeger starts shooting people.
2. Jenny Was A Friend of Mine by The Killers: Hooky Bass Line, driving synth. People have seizures because this song is so good.
3. What Sarah Said by Death Cab for Cutie: Listen to it with a candle burning and you'll see your future.
4. Golddigger by Kanye West: So what if he is a little paranoid and kind of crazy. He writes better music than 10 of me combined. And that is a lot of me.
5. Holla Back Girl by Gwen Stefani: Because this Sh** is bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

Baby we're back!!

Top 5 Ways to Celebrate the Triumphant Return of Stop Five Records

1. Dance. Everyone loves to dance. It doesn't matter where you are or who you're with. Start dancing.
2. A poem. New beginnings are symbolic. Symbolism warrants poetry.
3. Leave a comment. Not very exciting, but we do love your comments.
4. Run outside in the rain and yell alot. This is generally fun, and also vaguely symbolic.
5. =with a bullet= Kiss a girl. I'm doing this one, since I missed my opportunity at New Years.

Welcome back Stop Five. It's been oh so long.

Top Five Worlds Inhabited by Stop Five Posters in the sights hiatus

1. Narnia: After Posting Top Five games to play in an old and fragile mansion, the four (Lucy, Susan, Peter, and Edmund) happened into the enchanted land through a wardrobe (yeah, I know... I don't believe them either). But we are happy to have Lucy, Susan and Edmund back. I actually took away Peter's posting priviledges until he can prove himself anything more than a complete Pansy with a sword. Rule number 110: If you can't swing a sword, get out of the battle.
2. Gotham City: Batman returned back to Gotham, in the final months of the Previous Stop Five Sight. He got heed of a serious plot to let all of Arkham on the loose. It was the responsible choice, and no grudges are felt for this: one of our greatest heroes.
3. The Labrynth/Oz: It was our guess that when Sarah and Dorothy went into those comas at the same time, that they would be going to the same magical land. This couldn't be the farther from the truth: The only connection between OZ and the labyrinth was a spring break fling between Jereth and Glinda back in the 60's. Anyway, they weren't expected to post during that time, because of there condition and internet access so all is well, glad to have you ladies back.
4. Artangelinskalina: Brad Pitt is still vacationing there. Umm... I don't really know all of why or how he got there, but I trust his judgment.
5. = With a Bullet = The Land of Fantastical Possibilities: This has long been a favorite spot for Stop Five Celebrities, who just want to get away from it all, maybe fight an epic battle, Kiss a beautiful Elf, Journey through enchanted forests, Rescue a long haired princess or be rescued, siege a castle or just chill as the animals and place settings put on a broadwayesque show for you.

Welcome Back my Friends

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