Saturday, May 31

Top 5 Books I Bought Yesterday

I actually only bought 5 books, but for the sake of a list, here they are:

1. Elegance, Kathleen Tessaro - A girly no-brainer novel centered around live your life according to elegance

2. Leading by Example; multiple authors - A leadership book of lessons learned by some of the world's top business leaders (this one is strictly for work and for providing some direction in developing people as leaders)

3. The Last Lecture; Randy Pausch - Recommended to me by multiple people that I work with; apparently an enjoyable read full of humour, inspiration and intelligence by a professor of Computer Science, Human Computer Interaction and Design who has worked at Adobe, Google, Electronice Arts and Walt Disney Imagineering.

4. One Hundred Years of Solitude; Gabriel Garcia Marquez (Nobel Prize Winner) - Caught my eye as this is the same author who wrote "Love in the time of Cholera." Looks like an entertaining summer book.

5. Animal, Vegetable, Miracle; Barbara Kingsolver - The story of a family who took a year dedicated to eating food produced from the same place where they lived... whether that be from the farm down the road to their own backyard; and the lessons they learned from it. Already inspiring, helpful and fun to read.

Monday, May 26

Top5 Reasons I Went To Bed Early Last Night

5. Mall was closed.
4. The building where I work was locked.
3. I'm not sure where the dump is.
2. I misplaced my rain bucket. All the turnips were in it.
1. Kyle.

Not that it matters, but I still couldn't get to sleep until 2am.

Sunday, May 25

Top5 Things I'd Rather Do Tonight Than Go To Bed Early

5. Shoot rats at the dump.
4. Collect rain water in a bucket and wash myself with it.
3. Stay at work, in order to provide unprecedented all night customer service.
2. Mash a pot full of boiled turnips and then eat them.
1. Troll for mall ass.

Top 5 Reasons Why Disappointment Fills My Heart Right Now

1) I was not able to remain in China and help with the relief efforts.
2) Despite all rescue efforts, my hair (which I drastically altered in China) still looks VERY Chinese. Not that I have anything against Chinese hairstyles, I just never really envisioned myself as a Scottish Cleopatra. This is what chemical straightening and a language barrier will do to you, especially when you seem to be magically paralysed in all hairdressing chairs and find yourself falling prey to a Chinese hairstylist with an agenda.
3) I am stuck at school for stinkin' debrief. Okay, so I don't think debrief is SUCH a terrible thing. I just really want space. SPACE. And I want to see my brother and sister. NOW. And they won't release me until tomorrow afternoon.
4) I never got to pick up an AfroKen for Kyle, and I don't know how to break it to him. I looked, I really did.
5) I am no longer in China. Reverse culture-shock sucks. Anybody want to join me for some comfort eating at a Chinese Restaurant sometime? I emptied my schedule this week for opportunities such as these. (Just don't laugh at my hair. I learned Kung Fu in my journeys, I'll have you know.)

Honourable mention: Jet lag fills my heart with all kinds of negativity. Yay for sleep deprivation and a confused internal clock!

Saturday, May 24

Top 5 Plants in my patio garden

1. Raspberry ice - This one has lush burgundy leaves and is starting to produce pink flowers coming out on the stems
2. Periwinkle - Beautiful, and has a rad name
3. Pots full of pansies - Pansies are not my favorite, but in a pot in the sunshine, they can't help but make you happy
4. Kalanchoe - I don't know what this one is really, but right now it has the most vibrant fuchsia flowers - so pretty!
5. The other one - I don't know the name of it because I got it at the Farmer's market and forgot by the time I got home, but it is full and leafy and is just starting to flower. It is fun to have a plant that you don't know what it will end up being like...

**Honorable mention** My Ficus tree - This one is indoors, but I like it a lot. It's in a gorgeous brown clay pot and is our first house tree

Top 5 Things to look forward to in the coming months

1. Vegas
2. Seeing friends (I know you all want to come to Kelowna to visit...)
3. Summer: Sun, swimming and fruit - what more could you ask for?
4. Radiohead
5. Camping, camping, camping - as much as possible!

Thursday, May 22

Top5 Movies I Watched This Week

5. Prince Caspian. Hey, I didn't say they were all good.
4. Iron Man. Take 2. Still awesome.
3. The Descent. Fun, but no longer scary at all. The following film however...
2. The Orphanage. Really dread-inducing. Not to be confused with Judge Dredd-inducing.
1. Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Though I'm seeing it tonight, I'm pretty confident it will be the awesomest movie I've watched this week.

Tuesday, May 20

Top 5 Downsides to being Suddenly Left Handed

So I fractured a bone in my right wrist on Sunday. 6 weeks in a cast. Lame.

1. Well, I don't actually have the use of my right hand, so technically I'm more "one handed" than "left handed."

2. Typing with 1 hand is difficult and time consuming.

3. I find buttons, particularly the ones on my pants, difficult to manipulate.

4. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to cut food with a fork and knife, because I can't really put any pressure on my right hand, so I can't hold the fork well.

5. No video games!!

Sunday, May 18

Top 5 DVD purchases of the past 2 days

Alright, there were only 5 DVD's purchased in the past two days.... So it's not like I buy 40 DVD's a day or anything.

1. Dan in Real Life - Solid choice, picked out by Sara-Lynn
2. Juno - Picked out by both of us.
3. Across the Universe - Another solid choice picked out by Sara-Lynn
4. Lars and The Real Girl - Have you seen Gosling's sweaters??? AWESOME!
5. Survivor Man: Season 1 - Les Stroud is the ultimate outdoors-man.

Saturday, May 17

Top 5 Garage Sale Purchases Today

1. Board games! - Pictionary, Monopoly and Full House - less than a dollar each
2. "Summer reading" books - fluffy, somewhat trashy, and hilarious - 10 cents each
3. Cassette tapes - Pretty Woman soundtrack, Top Gun soundtrack, Oldies Love Songs, Party Night 2, Rock 84 - Allie's car has a tape player - 50 cents each
4. Sparkles - a necklace - 25 cents
5. Very Best of Cher CD - well, almost - turns out it's just a Cher CD case... 50 cents

I love garage sale mornings!

Wednesday, May 14

Top 5 Holidays

1. Christmas - December 25th
2. Easter - Sometime in March or April
3. May Long Weekend - 3rd weekend in May
4. Labour Day - First Monday in September
5. Arbitrary Celebration Day - May 26th

Tuesday, May 13

Top 5 Unlikely Ways to Die

Monday, May 12

Top 5 Moments From 30 Rock's Season Finale

[Barging into Jack's old office to talk to him...]
Liz Lemon: Oh! I’m sorry. I don’t know why I even…came up…here. [Looks around at all the stuffed unicorns in the office.] I mean, I know Jack’s not up here. Boy, I’m really going a little crazy. Haha. I don’t suppose you want to be my “sounding board”? Haha.
Kathy Geiss: [Pulls a toy car from her mouth.]
Liz Lemon: Ah. You’re busy. I’ll come back another time.
Kathy Geiss: [Puts the toy car back in her mouth.]

Cooter: Our first order of business. The city of Portland has requested 9 million dollars to shore up its dam system.
Randall: I can’t support that. Damn is a swear word. I’d support it if instead of a dam we called it a God Finger…

[Looking for a way to get fired from their government jobs.]
Jack Donaghy: Whatever we come up with has got to be wasteful, embarrassing to the administration, and upsetting to the voters.
Cooter: Holy smoke…
Jack Donaghy: What’ve you got?
Cooter: In 1994, the Pentagon explored the possibility of a non-lethal chemical weapon that would “reduce enemy soldier’s combat posture by making them totally gay-bones for each other.”
Jack Donaghy: How gay?
Cooter: It doesn’t say. The project was abandoned in the planning stages.
Jack Donaghy: Of course it was. It would have been expensive, impractical, and offensive to both the red states and the gay or blue states.
Cooter: This is exactly what we’re looking for!
Jack Donaghy: A guaranteed disaster. Like eating a burrito before sex.

--3 Months Later--

[In a dark room at the Pentagon, with several high ranking military officials.]
Jack Donaghy: Gentlemen, I regret to inform you that the Gay Bomb could not be effectively weaponized. The chemical dissipates harmlessly in open, tactical environments. And frankly could only work if somehow we could get the enemy in a closed, unventilated space.
Cooter: Ou! Pens!
[Knocks over the Gay Bomb canister. It breaks.]
Cooter: I feel weird.
Jack Donaghy: Let’s do this.

Frank: [Hands Tracy the copy of his porn video game.] Dude, I played this thing for a couple hours. It’s ok, I guess.
Tracy: Frank, you’ve been in your office for three months!
Frank: [Looks in mirror. Has a full beard.] WHAT?!
Tracy: YES! I’m going to be a billionaire!

Friday, May 9

Top 5 Stop 5 Affiliated Blogs

1. Geoff - Last Update: April 13, 2008
2. K-Pasa - Last Update: March 26, 2008
3. Dan - Last Update: September 19, 2007
4. Otto - Last Update: August 22, 2007
5. Rivers - Last Update: February 8, 2007

Bonus: The Rocket (because he is affiliated with Stop 5, one way or another) - Last Update: May 7, 2008

Anyone hiding a literary treasure you want to share? Anyone want to update previously mentioned literary treasures?

Top 5 Monkeys

1. Spider Monkey
2. Code Monkey
3. Roid Monkey
4. Old World Monkey
5. New World Monkey

Thursday, May 8

Top 5 Diabetics of Film & Television

5. Baby O | Con Air
Cons take over plane. Don’t give him his insulin. Nicholas Cage gets his insulin. But no food. He survives. Somehow.

4. Sarah Altman | Panic Room
Bad guys come to the house. Mom panics. Locks them in a room with no food. Hypoglycaemia sets in. Mom leaves room. Bad guys enter room. Bad guys administer glucagon. Doesn’t die.

3. Don Geiss | 30 Rock
Tina Fey forgets to get him food. Goes into diabetic coma. Dr. Spaceman gives him a placebo shot. It does nothing. He remains in coma. (Or faking it.)

2. Leonard’s Wife | Memento
Leonard gives his wife insulin. She dies. He goes crazy.

1. Police Horse | Half Baked
Kenny sees a horse. Feeds it. It’s not hungry; it’s diabetic. It dies. Kenny goes to jail.

Wednesday, May 7

Top 5 Thoughts

1. I have never seen an HBO show that I didn't like (although I readily admit I've never watched Sex and the City and I'm pretty sure I would rather pluck my eyeballs out with a pair of stilletos than sit through an episode). HBO turns TV into art. And that is quite a feat. (Those unaccustomed to HBO should be forewarned, though: lots of swearing. And violence. And sometimes other stuff. So don't get mad at me if you happen to watch something from HBO after reading this glowing-but-unspecific review, only to find yourself deeply offended and emotionally scarred and unable to carry a conversation without using at least a half-dozen f-words.)

2. People often ask me if I plan to get laser eye surgery. I don't. I like my glasses. Sure, they get dirty and they're always at risk of breaking and when I forget to put them on in the morning I stumble around and rub my eyes for 15 minutes wondering why everything is so blurry. But I think I would feel very self-conscious without them. And I would probably get things in my eyes, like dirt or someone's finger, which would hurt.

3. I think I might be OCD. I've been watching myself over the past little while, and I realize I'm very obsessive. Compulsively so. I like things clean and ordered. Actually, it's more than that: I can't relax around messiness. And when I want to focus on something, like writing or reading or sharpening my knives, I need a quiet, non-chaotic place to do it. (Note: According to, I'm not OCD. They actually suggested "anal retentive". That's unfortunate.)

4. LOST is a pretty crazy show. I'm absolutely convinced it will not end well (meaning, we will all be very, very disappointed when we discover it was all a story Aaron's real parents told him when he asked them where babies come from).

5. I'm always amazed at how a tasty cup of coffee can make life bearable. There are days where things just aren't going the way I'd like--bills aren't getting lost in the mail, women aren't losing their minds when I walk in the room, brilliant works of literature aren't pouring forth from my finger tips--but that one hot cup of dark magic can make it all ok. Now that I think about it, that's a lot like heroin. Huh.

For another five meaningless and uncalled for thoughts, please click here. (Literally. Here.)

Tuesday, May 6

Top 5 Oddities from the Kelowna Weekend

1. Every Friday, particularly during the summer, the entire town descends upon every chain restaurant in Kelowna. Thus, when Tara and I went to Montana's, we were met with a 35-40 minute wait. Same with East Side Marios. We waited, and ended up eating at like 8:00. So bizarre though, I felt like I was at a new restaurant in Langley. Because that only happens to new restaurants in Langley.

2. Dan and Slynn spoke in surprisingly Canadian accents. I found that odd, since I seemed to have a husky Irish brogue for most of the weekend.

3. There was an air mattress that pretty much took up a whole room. We slept on it. It was comfy. But seriously, so huge!

4. Rob is as good as advertised at bocce. Way to live up to your Italian heritage!

5. Matt Gnaedinger is exceedingly good at climbing hills. Like, he's probably in some hill climbing league, good.

Okay, just for fun, here's a video for you all. Watch the drummer in this one. I figure there's a good chance that's me in 20 years. There may be a related stopfive post coming soon, but I thought I'd put this in here for now.

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