Wednesday, March 23

Top 5 Benefits of Being Sick

1. Staying up late. Everyone loves staying up late. Especially if it's because you keep running to the washroom.

2. Talking like a drunk toad. I feel it makes my voice sound . . . intriguing.

3. Playing sports while sick. It takes sick to a whole new level.

4. People keeping their distance. Because I never was a big fan of human contact.

5. The unending tiredness. Being tired is fun, right?

Can you tell I don't get sick very often?

And this is how I feel:

Thursday, March 17

Top 5 Reasons why Dan Donkers will/(need to) start drinking coffee

1. He has plans on starting his Master's degree in the fall. (Good luck on the thesis without caffeine).

2. His dad works at Dairyland/Saputo, think about how much free cream you could get!

3. He STILL drinks Coke. Dude, you're turning 29. Time to give it up.

4. Coffee is the way of Capitalism and Democracy! If you switch to Herbal Tea instead of Coffee, I guarantee within a years time you will be a full-fledged Communist. Anton would not approve.

5. Coffee is the Pentecostal Wine.

Wednesday, March 16

Top 5 Events on the Ides of March

March 15 is known as the "Ides of March." "Beware the Ides of March," they say. With good reason. It didn't go very well for Julius Caesar.

1. 44 BC. Julius Caesar is stabbed by Brutus, along with a gang of Senators. Gangs have gotten much less political since then. But no less violent.

2. 1545 AD. The council of Trent holds its first meeting. I assume it was mostly a meet and greet. Probably some light appetizers were served, like whole roasted chickens and such.

3. 1672 AD. King Charles II of England issues the Royal Declaration of Indulgence. Several of his subjects die of ice cream overdose on this very day.

4. 1820 AD. Maine becomes the 23rd US state. Nobody told them that America was just doing it for the lobsters.

5. 1990 AD. Mikael Gorbachev is elected as the first president of the Soviet Union. Which he promptly proceeds to dismantle.

Monday, March 14

Top 5 Cons

1. "The Cat in the Bag"
2. "The Silver Dollar Bill"
3. "The International Spy who Misses his Mother"
4. "The Passive-Agressive Shoeshine Shenanigan"
5. "The Stunt Double's Double Stunt"

Any of these will make you millions. I suggest you try them.

Thursday, March 10

Top 5 Things I Don't Want in a Couch/Living Room Furniture

1. Beige or White colour. It's just not me.
2. Microfibre/microsuede. I hate it with a fiery passion.
3. Leather. I just never, ever want to own a leather couch.
4. Hideous floral patterns. I feel like that one is self explanatory.
5. Ikea's flat, uncomfortable, boring, obviously-from-Ikea collection. I love Ikea but not these.


Top 5 Types of Couches/Living Room Furniture Found On Craigslist

1. Beige or White colour
2. Microfibre/microsuede
3. Leather
4. Hideous floral patterns
5. Ikea's flat, uncomfortable, boring, obviously-from-Ikea collection

Wednesday, March 9

Top 5 Observations upon Watching "America's Next Top Model"

For the record, I watched it with my wife. Not alone. I promise.

1. Women absolutely freak out when their hair gets changed. There is no exception. I think hair salons need cry rooms.

2. Tyra banks considers herself to be quite important. I'm glad she thinks so, because I've never really given it much thought.

3. If you want to be a man in the fashion industry, you're better off being gay. I don't know why, it's just how things are.

4. "Couture" is probably just another word for "bizarre and impractical." But people seem to like it. At least the really artsy people on the show like it.

5. Nineteen year olds may think they know what they're doing, but they generally don't. It's cute when that shows up on TV.

Top 5 Things I've done since my last Stopfive post

I had no idea! It's good to be back. I think.

1. Created the most awesome sport ever invented. It is called Pepsiball (at least until Pepsi sues me). I will have video of it soon enough.

2. Resigned my post as Summit Pacific College recruiter to pursue my Master's degree.

3. Started work on The Rocket's book. Yes, he will have a book.

4. Found Andrew Blackwood. Then promptly lost him again.

5. Joined Twitter. So that the world can hear my unnecessary thoughts as soon as they come to me. And so I can have "followers."

Tuesday, March 1

Top 5 Reasons why Dan Donkers has deserted this blog.

1. He's out playing "pepsi ball" or whatever the heck you call that game! What even is that game? Dan, why are all your facebook status' about pepsi ball?

2. He's working on his Masters' thesis: "Hidden Biblical Messages Found Within Backstreet Boys Records! (When you play them backwards of course)".

3. He is trapped inside a video game in search for his long lost father.

4. He no longer respects me because I pronounce "milk" "malk".

5. He's become an understudy for the Blue Man Group.

Top 5 reasons I am not into the posting of photos on this blog

1. This blog began with, and was inspired by, the communication form of language, not pictures.
2. Pictures convey someone else's thoughts, not necessarily the thoughts of the writer.
3. Despite my latest post, I like that this blog is internally sourced (meaning you don't need to search "the internet" for outside ideas and that you can find entertainment strictly from the writing of your fellow friends)
4. So many blogs these days are overrun with pictures taken by any amateur and lose the meaning of the words.
5. I can't think of anything else, and I recognize this post is not the most eloquent... but all I wanted to say is...down with the pictures! (Am I alone in this thought?)

Top 5 Blogs I am Currently Following

1. - This one used to be full of more great home ideas, but has recently turned more personal so I feel like I am creeping in on the family's life. Fun times.

2. - Full of great meal and home ideas, especially because we've been on a gluten/dairy/sugar/caffeine cleanse the past little while.

3. - This blog belongs to my good friend and it's great to cheer her on!

4. - Another one creeping in on a young couple that bought and loved their first home... and have now moved on to another home and project to make their own.

5. (My favorite and new obsession) - *Warning* This blog WILL inspire a wanderlust if you have ever experienced one before...

Top 5 Attendees at the 2011 Oscar's Party

(Really, there were only a handful of people dressed up but still...)

1. Dicky Ekland and his trashy sister - The Fighter
2. Aron Rawlston - 127 Hours
3. Natalie Portman - The Black Swan
4. Audrey Hepburn - Classic
5. *With a bullet* Bret and Germaine - Flight of the Choncords

Top 5 Reasons Why This Blog Will Not Die!

1. I posted a prediction on Facebook about this blog's revival! Don't make me out to be a Facebook lier!

2. "Blogging" sounds way cooler than "tweeting"

3. If we keep blogging on here, maybe just maybe, we will summon Andrew Blackwood back to life!

4. Melissa now works at the Disney Store... She must be full of Top 5 lists by now! "Top 5 Disney Stuffed Animals!" "Top 5 Reasons why Goofy can talk, and Pluto cannot!" "Top 5 Most Handsome Princes" "Top 5 Skankiest Princesses" etc... etc...

5. Dan Donkers' wordpress blog hasn't been updated in months! Dan, you might as well just come back!

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