Friday, October 31

The Wife's Responses to "Top 5 Questions I'd like to ask my Wife"

Per your requests, here are Tara's answers to my questions from the above mentioned post, which (ironically) you can find below.

1. What happens when the babies come?
2. Only if you hadn't brushed your teeth.
3. The first one is useless, so I'll go for the second one. At least you could fly to Save-on to get me some ice cream. (Apparently she thinks I need to get in shape)
4. Yes.
5. Would you die if it rained too much?

Top 5 Reasons to See a Doctor Immediately

5. Bloody discharge from the eyes.
4. Spontaneous absence of limbs.
3. A greenish hue to skin tone.
2. Exposed organs.
1. Hunger for human flesh.

Happy Halloween!

Tuesday, October 28

Top 5 Schools I will be Visiting Next Week

1. Abbotsford Christian School
2. Langley Christian School
3. Fraser Valley Christian School
4. Richmond Christian School
5. Summit Pacific College

Friday, October 24

Top 5 Things I Could Do Between Now and Work at 6 PM

1) Check out the Spy Store on Pender. I've always wanted to go in there.
2) Practice longboarding in Stanley Park (or just bike around Stanley Park if I can't get a hold of my friend Kyle or his longboard) and gaze at the sea and ponder and write.
3) Work on a design for a t-shirt.
4) Crawl around my apartment and find meaningless, trivial things to organize/destroy.
5) Watch more Arrested Development, drink tea, finish reading Breakfast of Champions, and give myself a chance to recover from this dratted illness.

I should make up my mind fast. Time is slipping away... And I really don't want to end up doing either 4 or 5! I feel like a little kid. "But I wanna go outsiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide!!!!"

Tuesday, October 21

Top 5 Questions I'd like to ask my Wife

1. Do you ever wish that I had wheels instead of feet? I do. Then we wouldn't need a car. I could just carry you. Except that we'd have to strap a really large basket to my back to bring home groceries. So maybe I don't want that. But it would be cool, don't you think?

2. What if I could walk on the ceiling, and one morning I woke up before you and was standing upside down on the ceiling and staring in to your face? Would that freak you out?

3. Of these two superpowers, which one would you rather I have: 1) I can stop time by closing my eyes. So I can theoretically do things really fast while time is stopped, but only things that I can do with my eyes closed. 2) I can fly, but only by constantly flapping my arms really hard, so I can only really fly about a kilometer at a time, with long rests in between. And that's if I can actually get high enough to clear power lines.

4. Do I look fat in this? (That one's only funny once).

5. How would you feel if my freckles were photosynthetic, and they produced all the energy and nutrition I ever needed? You'd never have to cook for me again. But, then again, I'd never really want to sit and watch you eat. But I'd be super productive, like I'd clean the house while you were eating. But you'd miss me and feel lonely because you'd eat all your meals by yourself. What a conundrum!

Top 5 Songs that Just Get me Every Time

1. "Walking in Memphis" - Marc Cohn
2. "Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters" - Elton John
3. "Hoppipola" - Sigur Ros
4. "Landslide" - Fleetwood Mac
5. "Death and All His Friends" - Coldplay

Thursday, October 16

Top 5 Names for a Simon and Garfunkel Cover Band

1. "The Undergraduates"
2. "The Sounds of Silence"
3. "The 59th street Bridge Band"
4. "Rosemary and Tim(e)"
5. "Simone and GarfunkElle" (this would be a girl band)

Tuesday, October 14

My Top 5 Cartoon Disney Crushes (when I was younger, of course)

1) Phoebus -- from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Damn. ... I actually used to have him as a barbie doll. And Esmeralda. They made out a lot.

2) Cody -- the little boy from The Rescuers Down Under. So cute. And brave. And environmentally conscious.

3) Beast -- from Beauty and the Beast. When he was a beast. He wasn't as awesome when he was human... looked a little too pretty-boy. I like the rugged type, even back then.

4) Tramp -- from Lady and the Tramp. Always up to no good. I like that. But he really had a heart of gold...

5) Robin Hood -- obviously, Robin Hood. Good morals. Brave. Knows what he wants and goes for it. Confident. Charming (in the mischievous sense). Bit too much of an idealist, really, but I overlooked that in favour of his other attributes.

Yes, 3 of the 5 are cartoon animals.... but really anthropomorphic. It's totally justifiable!
And I've noticed that I seemed to go for blonds... except for Peter Pan. Too petulant. He really did need to grow up a bit.

Sunday, October 12

Top 5 Things About Friday's Weezer Concert

5. The teenage couple in front of us dry-humping each other for 3.5 hours (including intermissions). It was disturbing, creepy, and pretty funny.

4. The 50+ year old man across the aisle jumping up and down and singing at the top of his lungs, "Say it ain't so/Your drug is a heartbreaker/Say it ain't so/My love is a life taker." I swear I saw a tear or two.

3. The red Weezer record player segueing into the encore. Although, that could be tied with Rivers’ trampoline.

2. Doing Island In the Sun and Beverly Hills with 15- 20 fans playing their own instruments on stage. Who knew a trombone, banjo and xylophone could sound so...half decent?

1. Rivers. Without a doubt, the strangest lead singer I’ve ever seen. (I think he might actually be epileptic, considering how often he randomly fell to the floor and rolled around.)

Wednesday, October 8

Top 5 Possible Reasons for My Absence

1) I was kidnapped by pirates on the 5th of July. The Dread Pirate Roberts, actually. I am now his pirate bride. It's really hard to get signal on the open seas. We're in port right now, sacking Vancouver.
2) I developed a fear of the number 5.
3) I lost my sense of humour. In Stanley Park, one careless afternoon. I was too ashamed to return until I retrieved it. And actually, I never found mine... I'm borrowing a friend's until a new one can be ordered.
4) I didn't have a computer or internet access until a couple of weeks ago.
5) I gave birth to my first child -- a beautiful, baby girl. Named her Vanessa. Nessie for short. Been busy with her all summer. She's finally starting to sleep through the night!

(um, only one of these is true...)

Friday, October 3

Top 5 Questionable Worship Lyrics

1. "I have felt your touch, more intimate than lovers." (What a friend I've found - Delirious)

2. "He brought me to his banqueting table, and his banner over me is love" (Banqueting Table - author unknown. Context people! Context!)

3. "I will read my bible and pray. I will follow you all day. All day. All day now. All day." (All Day - Hillsong United)

4. "The wind is blowing through the trees, so we must follow." (Delirious - Now is the Time)

5. "He is like a Mountie, he always gets his man. And he'll zap you any way he can. Zap!" (Sonseed - Jesus is my friend. Watch the video of this song. It will change your life. You'll never complain about the above songs again. Seriously, you have to watch the whole thing.)

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Subscribe to Posts [Atom]