Saturday, March 28

Top 5 Reasons People Will Celebrate in the Future

1. Successful birth of their first (and subsequent) human-robot hybrid baby.

2. The marriage of Princess Xeno of Planet Zorgon to Prince Shrathakja of Planet 4376-2, effectively ending generations of interplanetary strife.

3. Someone finally invents that damned flying car.

4. Cotton will no longer shrink.

5. Rather than a dramatic and horrifying death that annihilates our galaxy--and with it the memory of the human species--the Sun will simply "shut off." Mankind, battling the immediate and terrifying cold, will reclaim campfire songs as anthems of the human race; smores will become primary sustenance; hot chocolate, the new nectar of the gods. Boy Scouts will rule the earth with fairness, courtesy, and above all, the pledge to "Do a Good Turn Daily."

Saturday, March 14

Top 5 "Smoldering with Evil" Nations of the World

Inspired by some lady on the radio.  Also I'd like to make the distinction between the Nations as represented by their governments, and the actual people who make up the unfortunate populations thereof.

5. Sangala (Juma!)
4. China
3. Burma
2. Sudan
1. Democratic Republic of Congo

Top 5 Academy Award Moments of 2009

I was just going to comment on the last one, but then I kept thinking of things.

5. When the Red Carpet interviewer asked Sarah Jessica Parker who her husband was.
4. Allison winning a whole crapload of door prizes.  Go team!
3. Kate Winslet's acceptance speech in which she asked her dad to give a shout out (good pick Slynn!).
2. Steve Martin and Tina Fey presenting not one, but two awards (kudos Kyle).
1. Hugh Jackman's opening monologue/number. Perfect.

Extras: Worst Moment of the night - The live direction of the In Memoriam section, with all that weird camera fading and moving.

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