Stop Five Records

1. Do you ever wish that I had wheels instead of feet? I do. Then we wouldn't need a car. I could just carry you. Except that we'd have to strap a really large basket to my back to bring home groceries. So maybe I don't want that. But it would be cool, don't you think?

2. What if I could walk on the ceiling, and one morning I woke up before you and was standing upside down on the ceiling and staring in to your face? Would that freak you out?

3. Of these two superpowers, which one would you rather I have: 1) I can stop time by closing my eyes. So I can theoretically do things really fast while time is stopped, but only things that I can do with my eyes closed. 2) I can fly, but only by constantly flapping my arms really hard, so I can only really fly about a kilometer at a time, with long rests in between. And that's if I can actually get high enough to clear power lines.

4. Do I look fat in this? (That one's only funny once).

5. How would you feel if my freckles were photosynthetic, and they produced all the energy and nutrition I ever needed? You'd never have to cook for me again. But, then again, I'd never really want to sit and watch you eat. But I'd be super productive, like I'd clean the house while you were eating. But you'd miss me and feel lonely because you'd eat all your meals by yourself. What a conundrum!