Saturday, March 28

Top 5 Reasons People Will Celebrate in the Future

1. Successful birth of their first (and subsequent) human-robot hybrid baby.

2. The marriage of Princess Xeno of Planet Zorgon to Prince Shrathakja of Planet 4376-2, effectively ending generations of interplanetary strife.

3. Someone finally invents that damned flying car.

4. Cotton will no longer shrink.

5. Rather than a dramatic and horrifying death that annihilates our galaxy--and with it the memory of the human species--the Sun will simply "shut off." Mankind, battling the immediate and terrifying cold, will reclaim campfire songs as anthems of the human race; smores will become primary sustenance; hot chocolate, the new nectar of the gods. Boy Scouts will rule the earth with fairness, courtesy, and above all, the pledge to "Do a Good Turn Daily."

Kyle, I don't want to live if the future doesn't have a flying car. Spot on.
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