Saturday, February 12
Top 5 Dorky Vehicles
I was inspired on my drive home from work yesterday by a guy who cut me off with his #3.
Disclaimer: there are a lot of ugly vehicles out there. I drive an ugly truck (well, let's just say it's not *pretty*). But I also got it for free. And it's from the early 90's--ancient history.
No, I'm more concerned with those vehicles manufactured in the last decade, and which cost their owners a substantial amount of money. Newness + cost + dorkiness = this list.
5. Chrysler PT Cruiser
4. Chevy Avalanche
(Might not be so bad if it weren't for the box. Too short, too much plastic. This one is also orange, which is a triple-negative and would, in a fair Universe, implode.)
3. Honda Ridgeline
(I would say something about this one, but it's so dorky looking the best I can do is a laugh, and that doesn't translate well into text.)
2. Pontiac Aztek
(Someone/some people was/were paid to design this. And then someone/some people approved it. Other people set up plants to manufacture it. A dealer kept a straight face while selling it. And someone bought it. That makes me sad.)
1. Hummer
(Granted, this particular Hummer is every kind of wrong -- fancy rims, bright orange paint, chrome. But no other vehicle makes me laugh so consistently when I see one on the road. It is so over the top it's ridiculous. It isn't uniquely powerful, it's expensive (to buy, to fix, to operate), it serves no function that another SUV couldn't do just as well--nay, better. Worst of all? It looks butt-ugly.)
Disclaimer: there are a lot of ugly vehicles out there. I drive an ugly truck (well, let's just say it's not *pretty*). But I also got it for free. And it's from the early 90's--ancient history.
No, I'm more concerned with those vehicles manufactured in the last decade, and which cost their owners a substantial amount of money. Newness + cost + dorkiness = this list.
5. Chrysler PT Cruiser
4. Chevy Avalanche
(Might not be so bad if it weren't for the box. Too short, too much plastic. This one is also orange, which is a triple-negative and would, in a fair Universe, implode.)
3. Honda Ridgeline
(I would say something about this one, but it's so dorky looking the best I can do is a laugh, and that doesn't translate well into text.)
2. Pontiac Aztek
(Someone/some people was/were paid to design this. And then someone/some people approved it. Other people set up plants to manufacture it. A dealer kept a straight face while selling it. And someone bought it. That makes me sad.)
1. Hummer
(Granted, this particular Hummer is every kind of wrong -- fancy rims, bright orange paint, chrome. But no other vehicle makes me laugh so consistently when I see one on the road. It is so over the top it's ridiculous. It isn't uniquely powerful, it's expensive (to buy, to fix, to operate), it serves no function that another SUV couldn't do just as well--nay, better. Worst of all? It looks butt-ugly.)
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You...don't own a Ridgeline. Right? RIGHT?!?
(But if you did, then yes, I am scolding/judging you. But in love.)
(But if you did, then yes, I am scolding/judging you. But in love.)
I do not, in fact, own a Ridgeline. I hadn't even really noticed them and definitely didn't know their name prior to you educational post!
The Aztek is a cool/different vehicle. Besides, it's Walter White's car in Breaking Bad (my favorite show)
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