Tuesday, February 22

Top 5 Academy Awards Predictions

1. James Franco gets his arm caught underneath an Oscar and is forced to saw off his own arm on live television.

2. Natalie Portman wins for best actress. She accepts her award with a posse stuffed animals.

3. Geoffrey Rush wins for best supporting actor and stammers through his entire acceptance speech.

4. Anne Hathaway asks why she was never nominated for "The Princess Diaries" and "The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement".

5. Javier Bardem loses to Colin Firth for Best Actor. In retaliation, Bardem kills Firth with a Captive Bolt Pistol (cattle gun).

So, are we putting money on any of these or what?
You heard it here first, stewart!
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