Friday, December 7

Top Five Things I Always Thought Holly Should Know About....Guys

1. Awkwardness is only desirable in direct proportion to the amount of ice it breaks. If no ice is broken, said awkwardness can be lethal, metaphorically speaking. So bring an ice pick just in case. Literally. You never know what could happen.

2. Being pretty helps for the same reason that honey attracts more flies than vinegar. But once you get the fly in the bottle you can relax a little, cut the makeup in half, dress casual, congratulate yourself -- You Got Him! Honestly though, you're prettier when you don't try, so don't worry about this one.

3. Stay alert for these telltale signs of his interest in you: he touches his hair a lot and smiles coyly when you are talking; he displays an unnecessary false modesty and then giggles when you compliment him on his looks that evening; when sitting across the table from one another, engaged in conversation, he frequently touches your arm with his hand while smiling in agreement at everything you say; he tells an hilarious fart joke, yanks your pigtails, and then proceeds to laugh maniacally.

4. Let him fix all kinds of stuff for you, even if it's not broken. This includes cars and trucks, electronics, bookshelves, your computer, that jar of pickles that has the lid that sticks, even personal relationships he might have an irrelevant opinion about. When this raises his relationship self-esteem to the point where he volunteers to fix you dinner, then you can safely go back and really fix all the things he tried to fix up to this point without fear that you might be damaging his ego.

5. Have other guy friends. This is important because of the fact that you live in Prince George, but it should also be easy because of the fact that you live in Prince George. This one is sort of a filler, but I have a gut feeling it could be the most important point on the list. I'm going to stop there and let your imagination decide.

Good luck!

I laughed so hard that I almost peed. well done Robert! And yeah, the friend thing is a good start. Geez I miss you guys.
Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Subscribe to Posts [Atom]